When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello.”
I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, “Get the right f***in number!”…and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her. I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!”
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole calling” would have to stop.
So, I called his number saying, “Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar our Caller ID program?”
He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for, I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in the back window which included his number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
“Yes, it is,” he said.
“Can you tell me where I can see it?” I asked.
“Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out front.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home every evening after five.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Yes.”
“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up and added him to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
“Hello.”
‘You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Stop calling me,” he screamed.
“Make me,” I said.
"Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“Yeah? Where do you live?”
“Asshole, I live at, 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don, and you had better start saying your prayers.”I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,” and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2, “Hello,” he said.
“Hello, asshole,” I said.
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”
“You’ll what?” I said.
“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.
I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray lvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in, Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW, I feel much better :)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Anger Management
Monday, February 2, 2009
Most Aggravating Email campaign Faux pas...!!!
Economy is going down – requirements are on freeze and no proper response from our prospects – which shows that its time to think a bit about our basic strategies, here I have picked Email campaigns.
Most important part during this campaign is to get response from our prospects/ clients? There are peoples with whom we need to communicate on a regular basis that not only don’t answer our emails, but also are seldom available to take our phone calls?
Before we chalk up the lack of communication to other people’s bad work habits or rudeness, it would be wise to take a close look at our own communication style. It’s possible that those who never seem to answer our emails or take our phone calls aren’t careless, forgetful, or rude. They may be just trying to avoid us.
Why?
If we don’t have an ongoing personal disagreement with someone and they aren’t trying to hide from us because they owe us work or money, the problem could be the way we communicate in email. You see, the effect of what we say in email often looks and “sounds” different to the recipient than it would if we were talking to them in person. If the email messages we send seem condescending, petty, picky, or needlessly complicated, we’ll find it increasingly difficult to get responses in a timely fashion.
Here are some of the most aggravating email faux pas to avoid.
Marking emails we send out with an exclamation point to indicate high importance for routine matters: Yes, we want people to read email we send, and yes we think the matter is important. But marking everything as high importance is going to have the opposite effect. Those who frequently receive email from us marked with an exclamation point will start ignoring it – and be mad at us for sending so many emails marked high importance.
Demanding immediate response when it’s not warranted: Just because something is important to us doesn’t mean that others should drop what they’re doing to answer our question or do what we want done. They have their own priorities, too. Not only will they get mad at us, but if requests aren’t truly urgent, they’ll soon be ignored – just like the fabled boy who cried “Wolf!” too often. So, if the matter we are discussing in email isn’t truly urgent (i.e., no one is going to suffer any harm or damage if whatever we want done isn’t handled the same day), then don’t ask for immediate action. And, if something really does need to be handled right away, explain why. (And remember to say “Please” and “Thank You”.)
Responding to someone else with a one-liner without including important details: “Call me,” or “We need to change the date” may work when we’re talking live with someone about a project. But if that’s all we put in an email, the recipient may need to dig through a stack of other email to find out why we wanted them to call us or what project or event needed a date change.
Including too much detail: Consider an example – If we need a manufacturer to do a better job of packaging the inventory products someone shipped us. Unless we’re a Big Box Store, don’t send the manufacturer a long note telling them what kind of packaging tape to use, how many times to reinforce it, and what grade shipping cartons to use. Instead, politely remind them to package the products securely so they don’t get damaged in shipment. If we’ve had a telephone conversation to discuss the problem, mention it briefly (if this is the first shipment since the call), but don’t rehash the entire phone call. And don’t forget the “Please” and “Thank You.”
Similarly, if we send a team member an email request to pull together a report on the team progress or do some other task, tell them what we want done and when we need it by. Don’t include a lot of detail about why it’s important to do the task or how we expect them to pay attention to all the details and format the report the way they were taught. If it’s a task they know how to do, state the task and the deadline in a sentence or two. (And don’t forget to say “Please” and “Thanks.”)
Copying the boss -- especially when the issue is minor: If you and a team member or anyone else you have to interact with has a minor difference of opinion, work it out between the two of you without copying the boss on your emails. If you see someone has made an insignificant mistake and wants it corrected, contact the person privately with a friendly note and don’t copy the boss.
Remember, copying the boss makes you look like a tattletale. And no one loves a tattletale -- or wants to return a tattletale’s email messages.
Changing the subject line when replying to an email: A lot of people use the subject line of emails to determine if and when to open and read the mail. If you and one or more other people are having an ongoing conversation about a project, and the subject doesn’t change, don’t change the subject line in the email. The people you want to read your response, may miss it, or may not be able to find it in the future to refer to it if you change the subject line.
Not changing the subject line for new topics of discussion: You and James have been discussing the best way to set up your podcast. All the messages have the same subject line. But while you’re reading James last response, you remember that you wanted to ask him to find a commercial artist who can design a flier for your next seminar. Don’t hit reply (to the podcast emails) to tell James to find the artist. Start a new email with a new subject line and send that to James so he can keep the issues separate in his email.
Most important part during this campaign is to get response from our prospects/ clients? There are peoples with whom we need to communicate on a regular basis that not only don’t answer our emails, but also are seldom available to take our phone calls?
Before we chalk up the lack of communication to other people’s bad work habits or rudeness, it would be wise to take a close look at our own communication style. It’s possible that those who never seem to answer our emails or take our phone calls aren’t careless, forgetful, or rude. They may be just trying to avoid us.
Why?
If we don’t have an ongoing personal disagreement with someone and they aren’t trying to hide from us because they owe us work or money, the problem could be the way we communicate in email. You see, the effect of what we say in email often looks and “sounds” different to the recipient than it would if we were talking to them in person. If the email messages we send seem condescending, petty, picky, or needlessly complicated, we’ll find it increasingly difficult to get responses in a timely fashion.
Here are some of the most aggravating email faux pas to avoid.
Marking emails we send out with an exclamation point to indicate high importance for routine matters: Yes, we want people to read email we send, and yes we think the matter is important. But marking everything as high importance is going to have the opposite effect. Those who frequently receive email from us marked with an exclamation point will start ignoring it – and be mad at us for sending so many emails marked high importance.
Demanding immediate response when it’s not warranted: Just because something is important to us doesn’t mean that others should drop what they’re doing to answer our question or do what we want done. They have their own priorities, too. Not only will they get mad at us, but if requests aren’t truly urgent, they’ll soon be ignored – just like the fabled boy who cried “Wolf!” too often. So, if the matter we are discussing in email isn’t truly urgent (i.e., no one is going to suffer any harm or damage if whatever we want done isn’t handled the same day), then don’t ask for immediate action. And, if something really does need to be handled right away, explain why. (And remember to say “Please” and “Thank You”.)
Responding to someone else with a one-liner without including important details: “Call me,” or “We need to change the date” may work when we’re talking live with someone about a project. But if that’s all we put in an email, the recipient may need to dig through a stack of other email to find out why we wanted them to call us or what project or event needed a date change.
Including too much detail: Consider an example – If we need a manufacturer to do a better job of packaging the inventory products someone shipped us. Unless we’re a Big Box Store, don’t send the manufacturer a long note telling them what kind of packaging tape to use, how many times to reinforce it, and what grade shipping cartons to use. Instead, politely remind them to package the products securely so they don’t get damaged in shipment. If we’ve had a telephone conversation to discuss the problem, mention it briefly (if this is the first shipment since the call), but don’t rehash the entire phone call. And don’t forget the “Please” and “Thank You.”
Similarly, if we send a team member an email request to pull together a report on the team progress or do some other task, tell them what we want done and when we need it by. Don’t include a lot of detail about why it’s important to do the task or how we expect them to pay attention to all the details and format the report the way they were taught. If it’s a task they know how to do, state the task and the deadline in a sentence or two. (And don’t forget to say “Please” and “Thanks.”)
Copying the boss -- especially when the issue is minor: If you and a team member or anyone else you have to interact with has a minor difference of opinion, work it out between the two of you without copying the boss on your emails. If you see someone has made an insignificant mistake and wants it corrected, contact the person privately with a friendly note and don’t copy the boss.
Remember, copying the boss makes you look like a tattletale. And no one loves a tattletale -- or wants to return a tattletale’s email messages.
Changing the subject line when replying to an email: A lot of people use the subject line of emails to determine if and when to open and read the mail. If you and one or more other people are having an ongoing conversation about a project, and the subject doesn’t change, don’t change the subject line in the email. The people you want to read your response, may miss it, or may not be able to find it in the future to refer to it if you change the subject line.
Not changing the subject line for new topics of discussion: You and James have been discussing the best way to set up your podcast. All the messages have the same subject line. But while you’re reading James last response, you remember that you wanted to ask him to find a commercial artist who can design a flier for your next seminar. Don’t hit reply (to the podcast emails) to tell James to find the artist. Start a new email with a new subject line and send that to James so he can keep the issues separate in his email.
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