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Funny Situation...

I came across one funny incident few days back when I went to shopping and landed in small building which has couple of shops there. The market is one of the most known area where mostly a paradise for women.

Since I went with my family, I was roaming here and there and suddenly I noticed a door in front of a shop with a sign “Ladies Toilet” with a lock and no one to attend it along with charges and a FINE print “You Will Get Keys at Gents Toilet”

What the FCUK – why will a girl go to gent’s toilet to get the keys - especially when it’s on the other side of the building and with no direction markings?

I can only imagine a chaos when there is urgency – God knows what the complex maintenance team is thinking!

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello.”

I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, “Get the right f***in number!”…and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her. I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!”

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole calling” would have to stop.

So, I called his number saying, “Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar our Caller ID program?”

He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for, I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in the back window which included his number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”

“Yes, it is,” he said.

“Can you tell me where I can see it?” I asked.

“Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out front.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.

“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”

“I’m home every evening after five.”

“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”

“Yes.”

“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up and added him to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

“Hello.”

‘You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Stop calling me,” he screamed.

“Make me,” I said.

"Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Don Hansen.”

“Yeah? Where do you live?”

“Asshole, I live at, 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”

He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don, and you had better start saying your prayers.”I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,” and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2, “Hello,” he said.

“Hello, asshole,” I said.

He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”

“You’ll what?” I said.

“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.

I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray lvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in, Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW, I feel much better :)

Funny - Grandma's Letter ;)

Grandma's letter to her grand daughter:-

She (Grandma) is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

She writes:

*Dear Grand daughter,*

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk If You Love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by athunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of God!" Go!Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and Smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuckup in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I grinned and waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them afterall the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma!!