Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello.”

I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, “Get the right f***in number!”…and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her. I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!”

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole calling” would have to stop.

So, I called his number saying, “Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar our Caller ID program?”

He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for, I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in the back window which included his number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”

“Yes, it is,” he said.

“Can you tell me where I can see it?” I asked.

“Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out front.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.

“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”

“I’m home every evening after five.”

“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”

“Yes.”

“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up and added him to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

“Hello.”

‘You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Stop calling me,” he screamed.

“Make me,” I said.

"Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Don Hansen.”

“Yeah? Where do you live?”

“Asshole, I live at, 34 Mowbray Blvd., in Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”

He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don, and you had better start saying your prayers.”I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,” and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2, “Hello,” he said.

“Hello, asshole,” I said.

He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are…”

“You’ll what?” I said.

“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.

I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray lvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in, Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW, I feel much better :)

Most Aggravating Email campaign Faux pas...!!!

Economy is going down – requirements are on freeze and no proper response from our prospects – which shows that its time to think a bit about our basic strategies, here I have picked Email campaigns.

Most important part during this campaign is to get response from our prospects/ clients? There are peoples with whom we need to communicate on a regular basis that not only don’t answer our emails, but also are seldom available to take our phone calls?

Before we chalk up the lack of communication to other people’s bad work habits or rudeness, it would be wise to take a close look at our own communication style. It’s possible that those who never seem to answer our emails or take our phone calls aren’t careless, forgetful, or rude. They may be just trying to avoid us.

Why?

If we don’t have an ongoing personal disagreement with someone and they aren’t trying to hide from us because they owe us work or money, the problem could be the way we communicate in email. You see, the effect of what we say in email often looks and “sounds” different to the recipient than it would if we were talking to them in person. If the email messages we send seem condescending, petty, picky, or needlessly complicated, we’ll find it increasingly difficult to get responses in a timely fashion.

Here are some of the most aggravating email faux pas to avoid.

Marking emails we send out with an exclamation point to indicate high importance for routine matters: Yes, we want people to read email we send, and yes we think the matter is important. But marking everything as high importance is going to have the opposite effect. Those who frequently receive email from us marked with an exclamation point will start ignoring it – and be mad at us for sending so many emails marked high importance.

Demanding immediate response when it’s not warranted: Just because something is important to us doesn’t mean that others should drop what they’re doing to answer our question or do what we want done. They have their own priorities, too. Not only will they get mad at us, but if requests aren’t truly urgent, they’ll soon be ignored – just like the fabled boy who cried “Wolf!” too often. So, if the matter we are discussing in email isn’t truly urgent (i.e., no one is going to suffer any harm or damage if whatever we want done isn’t handled the same day), then don’t ask for immediate action. And, if something really does need to be handled right away, explain why. (And remember to say “Please” and “Thank You”.)

Responding to someone else with a one-liner without including important details: “Call me,” or “We need to change the date” may work when we’re talking live with someone about a project. But if that’s all we put in an email, the recipient may need to dig through a stack of other email to find out why we wanted them to call us or what project or event needed a date change.

Including too much detail: Consider an example – If we need a manufacturer to do a better job of packaging the inventory products someone shipped us. Unless we’re a Big Box Store, don’t send the manufacturer a long note telling them what kind of packaging tape to use, how many times to reinforce it, and what grade shipping cartons to use. Instead, politely remind them to package the products securely so they don’t get damaged in shipment. If we’ve had a telephone conversation to discuss the problem, mention it briefly (if this is the first shipment since the call), but don’t rehash the entire phone call. And don’t forget the “Please” and “Thank You.”

Similarly, if we send a team member an email request to pull together a report on the team progress or do some other task, tell them what we want done and when we need it by. Don’t include a lot of detail about why it’s important to do the task or how we expect them to pay attention to all the details and format the report the way they were taught. If it’s a task they know how to do, state the task and the deadline in a sentence or two. (And don’t forget to say “Please” and “Thanks.”)

Copying the boss -- especially when the issue is minor: If you and a team member or anyone else you have to interact with has a minor difference of opinion, work it out between the two of you without copying the boss on your emails. If you see someone has made an insignificant mistake and wants it corrected, contact the person privately with a friendly note and don’t copy the boss.

Remember, copying the boss makes you look like a tattletale. And no one loves a tattletale -- or wants to return a tattletale’s email messages.

Changing the subject line when replying to an email: A lot of people use the subject line of emails to determine if and when to open and read the mail. If you and one or more other people are having an ongoing conversation about a project, and the subject doesn’t change, don’t change the subject line in the email. The people you want to read your response, may miss it, or may not be able to find it in the future to refer to it if you change the subject line.

Not changing the subject line for new topics of discussion: You and James have been discussing the best way to set up your podcast. All the messages have the same subject line. But while you’re reading James last response, you remember that you wanted to ask him to find a commercial artist who can design a flier for your next seminar. Don’t hit reply (to the podcast emails) to tell James to find the artist. Start a new email with a new subject line and send that to James so he can keep the issues separate in his email.

Must Read - 'Sex in the Boardroom'

Recently I got in touch with Merydith Willoughby – an award winning International Organization Development Consultant with more than 20 years of experience. This happened during my search for experts who can share their experience with me on leadership and assist me to understand leadership and ways to create difference.

During our course of discussions I came to learn about her new book which she has recently written called 'Sex in the Boardroom'. The book focuses on development of leadership qualities and provides key strategies to enable organizations to thrive in this economic environment.

I didn't have a chance to read whole book, but I liked its synopsis. I strongly feel that it's worth reading, keeping this in mind, I am sharing the synopsis with you, have a look and enjoy reading.

Synopsis:

Numerous books are written each year about the theoretical perspectives of leadership development yet few, provide readers with key techniques, strategies to use or key questions to help them move out of the ‘don't know what to do stage' to being powerful leaders in their own right. One without the other is not useful and many books just end up on the bookshelf collecting dust. Being a powerful leader doesn't just happen. It requires a lot of hard work, is time consuming and although some may have a natural tendency towards it, every leader has to continue to strive for excellence. Sex in the Boardroom has a systems approach to leadership development and it can be used as a tool to review what you are doing, to make minor changes or to make radical changes in the way you lead. You can learn how to focus on what will give you the most gain for your organization instead of focusing on peripheral issues that just take a lot of time away from what you really should be doing. It's a bit naughty in parts: there are cartoons in it, powerful insights and case studies. The book is a truly global leadership book and represents a number of countries. And whilst Sex in the Boardroom isn’t about work/life balance this is exactly what those in business are getting when they work with the process.

Some organizations realize they have to put the time and effort into developing their leaders because the so-called level playing field has either gone or taken a beating with the increased competitiveness of the global market. Most organizations don't provide their leaders with enough if any development because they just expect them to know what to do. What development they do provide is usually 'training' because they don't know what else to look for or what else actually works. Training provides knowledge and gives participants information but it does not provide them with the strategies, guidance or support to change what is not working well in the workplace. Training also doesn't ask them the 'tough' questions that elicit insights. Sex in the Boardroom does.

Go to www.ibcoaching.com.au for more information or to purchase a copy of the book.

Do share your comments on this!

Love of a Little boy...!!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to…

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas…

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

I am touched with this – and thought to share with you all – I believe that the value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving = Give it a thought!

How to face Traumatic Situations…!!!

I recently came across a traumatic situation where my communication skills got challenged. I was speaking with one of my client and during our conversation he says – Varun I have news to share, I am getting divorced tomorrow…!!

Since I had never faced such situation before, I went blank for sometime – thinking how to respond and how to take this conversation ahead. Somehow I managed that time, but this conversation made me think to explore more on how we should face traumatic situations at professional end.

I believe that our communication plays crucial role in our professional growth and due to this we generally know what to say and speak when it comes to discuss topics like – Sales presentation, meetings, birthdays, anniversaries, interviews, requesting for referrals, business plans etc. I have learnt to speak on these topics from my seniors, supervisors and others.

However, I never saw anyone facing situations like, death in a family, house fires, divorce, serious illness, bankruptcy etc. I remember how I felt during my conversation – awkward and unqualified to help him. I just told that I am sure you are going through tough time - unfortunately I wouldn’t know what to say – just be calm!

But that was not the right answer and to be honest, till now I actually don’t know what to say. I am sure some of you also have faced the similar situation, which have not - here are few tips which I came across during my search.

1) We don’t need to creative words while responding – sometimes your presence will says enough! I am sure – that person is not going to remember you after you hang up or leave that place. Your presence is what will be remembered!

2) Stay in touch with them - It’s not just that you paid your respect on that day and its over. If you stay in touch – there is lot of meaning to that - as I said before, your presence will do more than your words!


3) Listen to the person – don’t rush to talk and share the similar incidents or any thing. Be a listener – that will be more than enough for that person to be comfortable. We should encourage the person to talk more so as they wont go in stress mode.

4) Offer help – but not for the sake of showing your concern – be practical and specific. A person in stress will welcome all help. For example – Feel free to call me if you need me!

If you face such situation – try these tips – I am sure these will work for you and you will be able to take your relationship that you have been building to next level.

Recession Pricing Do's and Don'ts...!

I have been hearing news that in this recession time/period companies are trying to revise their pricings. Though this is very natural for companies to think in to this direction – however I feel that revising the pricing strategy in this economic downturn would be very tricky and risky. There are cases when companies only cut the prices to gain more market share and attract new customers – but right approach can help a company to compete and sustain in recession time.

During my search for what should we do and we should not when it comes to revise the pricing strategy – I came across different articles and views of different experts. Below are few tips – which I found are useful:

We may like to consider:

• Analyze the value we are offering to our customers: Customers always feel comfortable if we educate them about the value we are delivering which in turn helps us to be more confident on our pricing.

• Categorize our value offerings: We can bundle our products & services and establish their prices accordingly, which will allow us to appease both cost and value conscious customers without cutting prices.

• Improving internal processes: The best way to adjust in this period is to streamline our company's processes and expenses. We can’t get very far in this competition with just a price cut.

• Innovate our offerings: Personally – I would like to invest a bit more on R&D. This step will surely help us to offer our products and services in a different way and will also allow us to negotiate flexibility with customers. It has been proved that innovation gives us an edge over competitors when customers are looking for something new.

We may not like to consider:

• Giving discounts on our products or services: In this economic downturn it would not be wise to get in to a price war with our competitors, especially without analyzing the value of the product or service. If we get in to this way – that too in this scenario, we can’t survive for a long and most importantly no body is going to win in this.

• Cutting prices on our high-value products and services: It wouldn’t be wise to touch our high value products during economic downturn. The better approach would be to focus on marketing our low value products and services.

• Give importance to price-driven customers: Ws should never encourage customers who threaten to take their business elsewhere especially in recession time. If scenario arises, either – share the unique value that our product and service offers, which justify the price we are charging confidently or let the customer take their business to our competitors and watch them going nuts.

Tips to convert Cold Leads into Hot Leads

This week I got a chance to participate in a small club party – where few of my friends who are in to sales were also present. While the party was going on its full space, one of our friend raised a topic – How Can we convert cold lead to hot one – in simple words – how to turn the cold prospect in to buyer! Since every one seems to be expert – they shared their views and came on some conclusion which I bet - no one remembered after the party.

But this topic has provoked me to do some research and thanks to different search engines I got to see few articles which were relevant. I picked few of them and prepared this document. [This document is only for reference purpose and its resources can be shared based on request].

To start with - I am sure we all have seen and face issues like prospects giving us the run-around, they had expressed an interest in our products or services when we first contacted them but now they don't return our calls, reply to our emails or seem interested in making a buying decision.

I firmly believe that in order to solve this or any sales related issue – the best weapon is Persistence. It’s an essential trait that all successful sales people should possess. This defines the ability to stick with a specific task, continue in the face of adversity, or use different strategies to achieve our goals.

However, there is a distinct difference between this and beating our head against a wall trying to convince the prospects to buy our products or services. I am sure that we all have gone through the phase where we thought - we are going to win every deal which comes our way – but later realized that we let that deal went away! But now since we got some experience under our belts – I guess it our duty to make sure that our team won’t face the same issues and start striking the deals with 100% success rate.

Below are few tips from experts that we can share with our teams and help them to be more successful and aggressive hunter :D :

1. Email Campaign: We should consider creating an email list of all the prospects and those who said no to our products or services due to some reasons. We can add these peoples into a monthly email campaign – considering some of them will have their situation change and still others are simply very busy with something that is more urgent. Without monthly email follow-up, we may lose the people that were temporarily distracted as well as those whose situation changed.

2. Account Mapping/Mining: This step is very crucial in current business scenarios. We should map the account and try to find other contacts too, since if we have another contact in the company, we can ask them for inputs or to find out why the decision has been stalled. This is particularly very effective if we have developed a good relationship with this person.

3. “Remember us” Campaign: We can also think about developing a “Remember us” campaign to keep our name in their mind. They may not be ready to buy now, but their situation could change in the future and we want them to remember us. We can stay in touch via postcards, letters, articles, newsletters, etc.

4. Respect Gatekeepers: I strongly believe that we should maintain good relationship with the decision-maker's executive assistant. Through this we can easily tap into that individual's insight and knowledge. In some cases, the E.A. can even help us to find a different way to approach the executives. They may also be able to share the reasons of why the sale did not happen or even what we could do differently in the future.

5. Effort Analysis: To become a successful salesperson we are supposed to be proactive. Before we put our efforts in any deal – we should ask ourselves 'How important is this sale?' If our answer is 'important', than determine what other actions or approaches we are willing to take to make this sales happen. We have to identify a best and creative way to pursue it.

To add - no solution is full proof and this is very much fair to raise the questions such as - What if this approach won’t work? What is the cold lead is still the cold one and not moving forward? Considering my experience, my answer probably would be – to drop that lead and focus on new opportunities. We have to realize that we have limited time with us to meet and exceed our targets and hence we need to wisely design our approach.

I have seen and heard that many times salesperson don’t realize the value of their time and they ended up running behind the deal which wont worth that much efforts.

It will always favorable if we follow the simple rule of thumb – wherein we ask ourselves - "What is the best use of my time, right now?" We should also consider the potential value of each sales opportunity. Chasing a high-value sale is a better use of your time than following up on a sale that is of low value (revenue and/or profit).